By SEAN PATRICK MURPHY
The first day of school can make even “veteran” students a bit nervous. And, when you’re headed for your first day at a new school, in a new grade, the anxiety can be even more intense.
So, for those children about to enter kindergarten, middle school, high school and even college, being prepared and establishing a line of communication are critical.
According to some experts, the best way to help children and young adults transition from one school to another is to keep lines of communication open with parents.
Anne Blair, a clinical social worker from Voorhees, said preparation is key to any successful transition.
“The parents must ensure that they allow their child enough time to fully understand the transition that will take place, and how that transition may look for them,” Blair said.
“This provides the child an opportunity to ask questions, tour their new school, meet their new teachers, and become familiar with the physical surroundings they will be required to function in.”
She also said staying in touch is critical to address any transition issues a student is having.
“Establishing a line of communication with the appropriate school personnel and parents is essential in assisting a struggling student,” Blair said. “This enables the therapist to approach the student’s issues with a team in place at the school that can provide necessary support for the new student while at school.”
Cherry Hill psychologist Dr. Marla Deibler agrees that parental involvement is critical to a successful transition.
“Some parents and teachers may find themselves unable to understand or relate to children who have difficulty in adapting to their changing lives because they themselves do not recall having such difficulties,” she said. “This is all the more reason to take greater care in learning about the experience of the child in order to better assist them in adjusting.”
So how do parents get their children ready for these especially trying years?
“It is important for parents to arm their children with the skills and motivation to adapt to their environment so that they may develop healthy self-esteem, a happy and optimistic outlook, and resiliency,” Deibler said.
She also provided three tips for parents: be realistic; be honest, open, and direct; and keep an open invitation to talk without judgment.
Marcia Ruberg, school psychologist in Cherry Hill Public Schools, said strong school systems involve teachers, students and families in continuous planning to support students’ academic and social successes in high school and beyond.
“Transition is a process, not a single event,” Ruberg said. “It starts long before the child actually makes the move, and continues long after.”
She said research indicates that the worries of most students fall into the realm of getting lost in the new building, the amount of homework they will face, and that the academic demands will be overwhelming.
Ruberg said there are two areas in which parents can make a tremendous difference prior to an upcoming school transition: One is social-emotional and the other is logistical.
“Socially and emotionally, some children may view the upcoming change, or some aspect of it (‘what if my best friend is not in my classes? I won’t have any friends the entire year!’) with distress,” she said. “This negative set of expectations can lead a child to feel powerless and worried.
“What parents want to do — after recognizing the feelings behind the worry — is to convey confidence in their child’s ability to solve the problem,” Ruberg added.
“They can reinforce that there are many people available to help solve any specific problem (‘remember how nice the teachers were at middle school orientation?’), remind the child of other challenges which the child managed to resolve successfully, help to put the problem in perspective, and informally review basic steps of problem-solving using an example form their own past or that of a sibling.”
The second way that a parent can be of great help to their child is to help them to develop systems to manage the increased demands of the next level of schooling, she said.
Joe Meloche, principal at Cherry Hill High School West, said entering high school can be scary for some students.
“The transition from middle school to high school brings its own very challenging aspects for all students,” Meloche said. “The level of academic rigor and the pure volume of work to be completed — especially independently — is intensified when compared to middle school.
“High school — regardless of the school — is bigger in all aspects — size, people, work etc.,” he added. “When students arrive in high school, they are also at a developmental point in their lives that is a challenge emotionally as well.”
Meloche said that he has found that students who make the best transition to high school are those who have a positive outlook on the experience, who are willing to ask for support, and who have an adult at home with whom they can talk, and question on a daily basis.
“Open and honest communication is key for children to be successful, especially for them to be prepared to make the transition,” Meloche said.
“Expectations must be discussed ahead of time — what will happen during the day? Who will they see? What should they carry to class? To lunch? To gym? What should they bring home? How should they manage their time? All of these questions, and more, should be discussed at home in a non-threatening environment well before school is to open.”
He said some symptoms of a person having difficulty with transitions include: Reticence to discuss school or any events from the day, extreme or uncharacteristic disorganization, becoming withdrawn, tears when discussing school, mystery illnesses, requesting not to attend school, and not discussing friends.
Even students who technically might be “adults” can struggle when moving from high school to college.
Mary Beth Daisey, dean of students and associate chancellor for student affairs, Rutgers University — Camden, said some new college students have to think for themselves for the first time.
“Students transitioning into college often have difficulty making important decisions for themselves without the input of their parents, can have difficulty in discussing and resolving problems as they have often relied on others to assist them with this, and have difficulty in managing the large amount of free time that they seem to have because college requires a lot more studying time that is not scheduled,” Daisey said.
Another challenge is communication.
“It is important for both child and parent to find a way to keep in regular contact but to also be able to adjust the frequency or the mode of communication so that more independence develops but support is there when needed,” she said.
So how do you address students with problems transitioning?
“For college students, we help to prepare them by sending them information in advance of their coming to school and then providing in-person orientation sessions over the summer before coming,” she said. “We also match new students up with upperclassmen who help explain the processes and procedures in college and check in with them regularly to ensure that the transition is going well.
“We help them meet other students, learn about resources and encourage them to get involved and connected to school, Daisey added.
“For parents, we provide them with an information session that discusses these transitions and give them the tools they need to be a resource for their students so that they feel comfortable in knowing that there are people at the university whom they can reach out to should they need assistance or the answer to a question.”
And for those about to make their first step into a school?
Dr. Diane Willard, director of special services and the child study team in the Mount Laurel School District, said the schools do their best to make that first experience a positive one.
“We try very hard to make that transition a good one for children and a good experience so that they have a good feeling about coming to school,” she said.
She said home is the first place a child learns from his or her parents.
“If children see us as partners with their parents, children feel more comfortable coming to a new place and being in a new environment,” Willard said.
“I believe that our parents see us as that partnership and the kids know that and so the kids then are comfortable — that in and of itself — goes a long way to making that difference in the transition.”
