The Eagles need you
By: Alan Bauer
When the Super Bowl kicks off Sunday night, the Eagles likely will be the biggest underdog in almost a decade. Which means they need help. More specifically, they need your help.
So here are a few suggestions:
Groundhog Day it. Wear the same clothes (hopefully you haven’t washed them), sit in the same place and eat the same food you did when the Eagles beat the Vikings. It worked once and can work again.
If an official makes a bad call, yell loudly at the television. It is a scientific fact your message will travel directly to his headset and, thereby, influence future calls.
Employ baseball’s no-hitter rule: If the Eagles are winning or a player is performing especially well, don’t talk about it. Heck, don’t even think about it.
Someone please make sure a Billy Penn statue is still on top of the tallest building in the city.
There’s still time to start a playoff beard.
If you have spare pickle juice, ship it to Minneapolis.
Have an emergency plan in case things go sideways early. In “Major League,” Pedro Cerrano’s bats were curveball cursed. When rum and cigar offerings to Jobu failed, Cerrano prepared to sacrifice a live chicken. On Sunday, eating some wings will serve the same purpose.
Think superstitions have no impact on the game whatsoever? Rumor has it Michael Jordan wore his University of North Carolina shorts under his Chicago Bulls uniform every game. Jordan has six rings.
Think all of this still isn’t enough against the Patriots and their future Hall-of-Fame coach? Consider this: Vince Lombardi never had a losing season in the NFL. His teams went to the championship game six times. He won five. The only loss? 1960. To the Philadelphia Eagles.